"Indeed we are from Allah and to Him we shall return"
Although death as the above aya of the Qur'an illustrates represents a return to the Creator, it nevertheless remains a painful experience for the survivors.
When a loved one dies, powerful and conflicting emotions are aroused – sadness over the loss and confusion about the future. To suppress the expression of grief is unhealthy but to allow our grief to overwhelm us is to selfishly overlook the true meaning of death.
One should continually recite
and the Qur'an.
It is haram to physically harm oneself through grief. Whilst weeping over the dead, it is ihtiyat mustahab that one's voice should not be very loud.
It is mustahab to console the bereaved family and friends.
When friends or relatives are grieving for a loved one, greet them with a warm handshake and say:
"May Allah soften your grief"
Often there is not much more one can say – do not try to explain, just be there with them. Soothe them, console them with warmth and weep with them. No matter how hard one tries, we must accept that sometimes especially at the death of a loved one, we do not understand His Rahma.
It is makruh to eat with the bereaved in their homes and putting them under unnecessary inconvenience.
It is mustahab to send food to and serve the family of the deceased for three days.
There is no way to replace a loved one, but one can supplement our normal good deeds with further virtuous acts on behalf of the marhumeen. E.g. Sadaqa, Imparting religious education, donating to welfare projects such as the building of roads, hospitals, water supplies etc…
One should remember the dead with good memories, pray for them and ask for forgiveness for them. It is reported that one day the Prophet
(S.A.W.) was escorting a funeral when he heard some people praise the one who was being buried. The Prophet
(S.A.W.) said:
"I swear by the Rabb of the Ka'ba, that the path to Janna has become secure for this person because mu'mineen have witnessed his goodness and Allah does not reject their testimony."
(Mustadrakul Wasa'il V1 Pg 147)
Death is an opportunity to examine our own lives and evaluate how we are fulfilling our purpose of existence. Death is a lesson that shakes us out of our complacency and makes us rethink our priorities. The Prophet
(S.A.W.) said to Abu Dharr:
"When you are escorting a funeral remind yourself of your own death, fear it and remember that you too will meet it one day."